Interviewed thinking

Today I was interviewed as a prospective citizen of the United States. My interviewer was not quite what I had expected. I had expected three big guys in dark glasses, tall, broad-shouldered guys with crew cuts, white teeth and no smiles. What I got was one small, cheerful, gracious woman of Asian descent.

She had been to Russia in 2003, sent there to do refugee interviews at the Embassy in Moscow. She was really interested in my travels to Russia, and we compared notes. What did I like? What had she liked? We noted the inside-joke that Moscow Embassy staffers all know: there is a Cathedral across the street that has a stained glass window towering above the American Embassy. Staffers call the cathedral "Our Lady of Perpetual Surveillance." We both knew the joke, we were cool.

Even so there are protocols to follow. I had to answer, under oath, the question, "Have you ever committed a crime for which you were not charged?"

Heck, no.

Have I ever claimed to be an American? Have I ever trafficked in drugs or prostitution? Would I support the Constitution of the United States? Stuff like that.

Then my civics test: How many stripes on the American flag? How many states in the union? What entities comprise congress? How long is the term of a senator? What are the duties of the Supreme Court? She did not ask me to name the 13 original colonies, so I told her I wanted that question.

"Okay, what were they?"

I rattled them off. She laughed, shrugged and said, "I'm just gonna take your word on that."

My English test was brief. I had to read aloud the sentence "It's a good job to start with," and to write the sentence, "They buy many things at the store."

That was it. My application is approved. Sometime in the next three or four weeks I will be sworn in.

Nobody asked me what special favors I was prepared to grant in exchange for citizenship. I'd have granted a lot.