I have been looking for good recipes that include scorpions as an ingredient. Most scorpion recipes have lots of rum and grenadine but no scorpions. But I found two recipes that look pretty good to me.
The first is from the Liverpool Museum. I am confused by this as I don't think of Liverpool as having enough scorpions to make a recipe of much use. Beatles maybe. Scorpions, I dunno.
Here are the first two ingredients, after which the rest are anticlimactic:
The first is from the Liverpool Museum. I am confused by this as I don't think of Liverpool as having enough scorpions to make a recipe of much use. Beatles maybe. Scorpions, I dunno.
Here are the first two ingredients, after which the rest are anticlimactic:
1/2 cup vegetable oil
30 - 40 live scorpions, washed
Hold up a moment. So I have this grocery bag with 40 live scorpions in it. Okay so far.
Washed?
"Honey? Let's cook together tonight? Like we used to? I'll heat the oil? Why don't you wash... the ummm... the stuff in the grocery bag...? Honey? Honey? "
So now the cooking directions: Heat the oil in a large wok. Stir-fry the scorpions for 20 seconds....
Hold on a moment.
There's an instruction missing somewhere. How do you get 40 live (clean) scorpions into a searing hot wok?
Hold on a moment.
There's an instruction missing somewhere. How do you get 40 live (clean) scorpions into a searing hot wok?
"Honey? I need a hand here...? Hmmmm... Okay guys, is everybody clean? Good... so now I need you just to hop in here to dry off.. Okay, think of it like it's a sauna... Nobody speaks Swedish?... It'll feel really good... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"
The second recipe is a little more helpful. Again, only the first two ingredients need be mentioned:
1 pint low-fat milk
8 frozen desert hairy scorpions, thawed
I am not making this up.
Among the cooking directions:
Dredge the scorpions through the cornmeal... place the scorpions in the hot butter and cook until they are golden brown, about 2 minutes. Then turn the scorpions over and cook until done.
Okay...
This recipe comes with some warnings, under the heading
Scorpion Cooking Tips: Handle With Care.
"Handle any live scorpion regardless of its size with the utmost care. All specimens that are destined for culinary use should go immediately into the freezer. After they are frozen solid, each scorpion should have its terminal tail segment, the one that contains the paired venom glands and the hollow, curved barb, removed with a sharp knife. This tidbit should go straight into the trash receptacle to prevent any accidental impailments during cleanup of the workspace."
"Handle any live scorpion regardless of its size with the utmost care. All specimens that are destined for culinary use should go immediately into the freezer. After they are frozen solid, each scorpion should have its terminal tail segment, the one that contains the paired venom glands and the hollow, curved barb, removed with a sharp knife. This tidbit should go straight into the trash receptacle to prevent any accidental impailments during cleanup of the workspace."
That sounds like very sage advice to me.
I'm wondering, as long as you're frying them in hot buttter, why use low-fat milk?
2 comments:
Freaking hilarious!!!
"Dredge the scorpions through the cornmeal..." is a sentence that I find strangely endearing...ah, humans....
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