Milky thinking

I don't like milk unless it's in the form of ice cream or whipped cream. Up until 7,000 years ago adult humans could not tolerate milk. About that long ago a gene mutation disabled the enzyme that kicked in at about puberty time and rendered milk no longer digestible. I think I did not inherit this gene mutation. I don't remember seeing my father drink milk, ever. My mother always demanded we drink it, but she never did herself. She was a gin fancier.

So I don't drink milk.

Lately I have been feeling a touch of wanderlust and have been doing research, like you do. A particular set of travel books has been enriching my life immeasurably. I am referring, of course, to the jetlag travel guide series, "for the undiscerning traveler." Their most recent travel guide is an in-depth look at Phaic Tan, "Sunstroke on a Shoestring." Listen to this description of the weaning process as practiced by the Phaic Tanese:
"... Phaic Tanese children are not actually named until they are one year old (although at three years of age they may legally take charge of a motor vehicle.) Most chidren are not weaned until the age of 14 and for some visitors the sight of a teenage boy attached to a middle aged woman's breast can be a little off-putting, especially when the two of them are not actually related." Interesting.

Some milk myths that are completely untrue, according to the dairy coucil of California:
Myth: Soymilk is just as nutritious as regular milk.
Myth: If you are lactose intolerant, you should avoid dairy foods.
Myth: Dairy foods cause weight gain.
Myth: Drinking milk causes early puberty.
Myth: Drinking milk when you have a cold causes mucus.
Myth: Organic milk is safer than regular milk.

Who would spread such lies? Notice in particular the third Myth, that dairy foods cause weight gain. This is especially untrue in the case of ice cream and whipped cream. The research has proven again and again that you consume more calories chewing than you ingest by swallowing either of these products. What's doing you in is the walnut pieces.