Gentle thinking

The man on the left, now deceased, was as Admiral. When I think of Admirals and others of general staff rank I think of warriors, men of steel, men able to make the tough choices. Rommel. Patton. Montgomery. Nelson. I don't necessarily think of gentle men.

But the more of them I have known, the more I have admired them for something quite different than toughness. It turns out that you don't get to that rank merely by being tough. You have to be wise as well and to care about people. It turns out that people don't do stuff just because you told them to - they do stuff because they know it's the right thing to do, and they know that because they know you, they trust you, maybe they even love you.

So by the time you tell them to do stuff that puts them in danger, they know you've done it, can do it, will do it, wish they didn't have to do it, trust them to do it well. There is a surprising amount of gentleness involved in that relationship.

When I was very young I admired strength. Then I grew older and brasher and I admired intelligence. Now I'm really old, and about the only thing that means a damn to me anymore is gentleness. The lesson he taught by example sank in eventually. He was one of the really good ones.